Moving in together with children

This is general information, not legal advice. It covers England and Wales – Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own rules. For your own situation, talk to a solicitor.

Does your new partner have to pay for your child?

No. Each parent of a child is responsible for maintaining them (Child Support Act 1991, section 1), and that doesn't change when one of them moves in with someone new. Child maintenance is still between the child's parents. In everyday life you pay for lots of things together, though: rent, groceries, energy. Decide whether the child's costs are shared or stay with the parent. Read more in Children's costs in a stepfamily.

Who makes decisions about the child?

The parents. Parents with parental responsibility have a say in important decisions about the child's life, such as their home, health, education, religion, name, money and property. A step-parent doesn't automatically get parental responsibility, even when married to the child's parent, but can apply for it. A new partner can do the school run, cook dinner and help with homework – the big decisions stay with the parents.

Can you move house with your child?

If there's a court order about who the child lives with, nobody may take the child out of the United Kingdom or change the child's surname without the written consent of everyone with parental responsibility, or the court's permission. The person the child lives with under the order may still travel abroad with the child for less than a month (Children Act 1989, section 13). A move within the country isn't covered by that rule, but the child's home is one of the important decisions. Talk to the other parent early if the move changes school, contact or travel. If you can't agree, mediation is the usual first step.

What happens to Universal Credit?

If you live with your partner, you must make a joint claim for your household, even if your partner isn't eligible. How much you get depends on your partner's income and savings as well as your own. Moving in with your partner is a change you need to report as soon as it happens – otherwise you may have to pay back money you've been overpaid.

Does it change Child Benefit?

It can, through the High Income Child Benefit Charge. It applies if you or the partner you live with gets Child Benefit and one of you earns more than £60,000 – and it doesn't matter if the child living with you isn't your own. The one with the higher income pays the charge: 1 per cent of the Child Benefit for every £200 over £60,000, and all of it above £80,000. 'Partner' includes someone you live with as if you were married.

What helps day to day?

• Agree what's shared and what's the child's: clothes, sport, phone.
• Put the weeks and weekends with and without the child in a shared calendar.
• Give the child a place of their own from day one, even a small one.
• Talk about who does which chores before it becomes a habit.
• Everything else about the move is in Moving in together.