Children's costs in a stepfamily
When a child lives week on, week off, two homes share the child – and often a new couple shares everything else. These are two different money questions, and they get easier when you keep them apart.
· 5 min read
This is general information, not legal advice. It covers England and Wales – Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own rules. For your own situation, talk to a solicitor.
Who pays for the child in shared care?
Both parents are responsible for the costs of raising their children. If the child lives mainly with one parent, the other usually pays child maintenance – agreed between you, or worked out by the Child Maintenance Service. When the child stays overnight with the paying parent for at least 52 nights a year, the amount is reduced.
| Nights a year with the paying parent | Reduction per child |
|---|---|
| 52–103 | 14.29 % |
| 104–155 | 28.57 % |
| 156–174 | 42.86 % |
| 175 or more | 50 %, plus £7 a week |
- 52–103
- 14.29 %
- 104–155
- 28.57 %
- 156–174
- 42.86 %
- 175 or more
- 50 %, plus £7 a week
Beyond that, each parent covers what the child needs while living with them. Bigger things – a winter coat, clubs, a bike, a phone – are worth agreeing in advance.
Who gets Child Benefit?
Only one person can get Child Benefit for a child. If you are both responsible for the child, you agree between you who claims – and if you can't agree, HMRC decides. Child Benefit is £27.05 a week for the eldest or only child and £17.90 for each additional child.
One thing surprises many stepfamilies: the High Income Child Benefit Charge looks at the household. If you or the partner you live with gets Child Benefit, and one of you has an income over £60,000, the one with the higher income pays the charge – even if they aren't the child's parent. It is 1 per cent of the Child Benefit for every £200 over £60,000, and the whole amount above £80,000.
£60,000
Does a step-parent have to pay for the child?
No. Child maintenance is paid by the child's parents, and a step-parent doesn't automatically get parental responsibility – even when married to a parent. How the couple shares the child's costs is up to you. Three common ways:
- The parent pays the child's own costs – clothes, clubs, phone – and the couple splits food and the home as usual.
- The couple splits everything to do with the home, including food in the weeks the child is there, and the parent covers the rest.
- Everything is shared, whoever's child it is.
How do you share with the child's other parent?
- Decide which costs you share, for example clothes, clubs, equipment and health.
- Decide how – equally or by income.
- Talk before expensive purchases or activities are booked.
- Keep the receipts, and even up at regular intervals rather than after every purchase.
- Write the agreement down, so you don't have to have the same conversation every time.
If you're wondering how to split the rest of your shared costs, read Splitting the rent when you earn different amounts.
Common questions
- Is child maintenance reduced with shared care?
- Yes. When the child stays overnight with the paying parent for at least 52 nights a year, the Child Maintenance Service reduces the amount – by half if it is 175 nights or more, plus £7 a week.
- Does my partner have to pay for my child?
- No. Child maintenance is paid by the parents. How you share the costs as a couple is up to you.
- Can Child Benefit be split between two homes?
- No. Only one person can get Child Benefit for a child, so the parents agree who claims.
Sources
- Child Maintenance Service: What child maintenance is – GOV.UK
- How child maintenance is worked out – GOV.UK
- Child Benefit: Who can get Child Benefit – GOV.UK (HM Revenue & Customs)
- Child Benefit: What you'll get – GOV.UK (HM Revenue & Customs)
- High Income Child Benefit Charge – GOV.UK (HM Revenue & Customs)
- Parental rights and responsibilities: Who has parental responsibility – GOV.UK